A successful industry pro walks you through your biggest project ever—step-by-step
Your Novel Isn’t Writing Itself
Writing a book feels impossible—
like MOUNT EVEREST!
👈🏻  Meet your Sherpa
☝🏻 Meet your Sherpa
#1 New York Times
BESTSELLING AUTHOR
and founder of TheOnion.com
Scott Dikkers
Let’s Climb Past Every Excuse,
One Page at a Time
You’ve always wanted to WRITE A NOVEL  📖

But every time you think about it, your brain serves up
the perfect cocktail of TERROR and SELF-DOUBT  😨

Maybe you want to EXPRESS yourself.
Maybe you’ve got stories bouncing around in your head that WON’T SHUT UP.
Maybe you’re just SICK and TIRED of watching other people live out their dreams,
go on book tours, and give interviews about their book...

All the while you’re thinking, “THAT SHOULD BE ME!”

It SHOULD be you!
🥰
You’ll Be in Good Company

‘First Novel Published’

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
“Helped me define my own, unique comedic style. I CREDIT SCOTT’s class with helping me get my first novel published!”
Annie Goodson,
novelist and teacher

‘Extremely Fortunate’

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
“I’VE ADMIRED SCOTT Dikkers’ comedy for decades and have been extremely fortunate to work with and learn from him.”
Andy Borowitz
New York Times bestselling author

‘Instrumental’

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
“Instrumental in making me the ... writer I am today. Any comedian, no matter their experience, can benefit from SCOTT’S KNOWLEDGE.”
Matthew Spina
#1 Amazon bestselling author, screenwriter

‘Really Loved...’

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
“Scott ... told you EXACTLY what he thought of your work and how to improve it. I really loved having him as an instructor.”

‘Incredible’

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
“Incredible learning experience. Scott could not possibly be more qualified. EXCELLENT feedback. Scott is a master.”

‘Learned So Much’

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
“I learned so much more about being intentional with my structures. Scott ... encourages REFLECTION and GROWTH.”

‘Fantastic’

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
“Scott is fantastic!
Brilliant,
SUPPORTIVE,
and super helpful!”

Scott’s best-selling books and top-level mentoring have been featured on...

Plot Twist: You’re Actually
Going to Finish This Book
In Project Everest: the Novel Route, you’ll write a novel before the end of 2025,
and it won’t be the painful, soul-crushing experience you’re imagining.

Most people think writing a book is some kind of MYSTICAL PROCESS reserved for TORTURED GENIUSES with perfectly furnished writing studies and endless free time.

It’s not. It’s a system. A set of repeatable techniques that anyone can learn—
I mean, ANYONE!
In the Next 12 Months, You’ll Learn…
  • How to turn your story from a dream into a real book—in just 12 months...
  • ​The bizarre routine I use to write 3,000 words before lunch, which works even if you hate mornings...
  • ​Why most writing groups are toxic, and how to find the one that will actually help you write a great book...
  • The truth about writer’s block, and how to end it in seconds—permanently...
  • Why most first novels fail, and the simple fix nobody talks about...
  • ​The real reason you keep abandoning chapters, and the surprising 20-minute method for making them compelling...
  • ​Why perfect grammar is killing your voice, and what to focus on instead...
  • ​​How to transforming scenes from boring to compelling, using the “9 and 3” method...

The ‘Holy Crap, I Actually Wrote a Book’ Journey

Project Everest: The Novel Route is designed to systematically dismantle every excuse,
fear, and roadblock standing between you and your completed novel.

By the end of 2025, you’ll hold your BEAUTIFUL, FINISHED BOOK in your hands.

And you’ll walk away with a set of skills that will make future writing projects feel like a walk in the park.

This isn’t about “maybe” writing a novel. It’s about DEFINITELY writing a novel
Here’s just SOME of what you’ll pick up along the route:
  • How to create characters readers care about, even if you’re terrible at describing people...
  • ​The secret technique for finding story ideas in the most unexpected places...
  • ​Why your first draft doesn’t have to be perfect, and how that will actually make it better...
  • The “grocery store” approach to building a compelling plot...
  • 5 ways to write scenes that readers won’t stop talking about...
  • ​How drawing rainbows can tranform your story into an irresistible hook machine...
  • ​The know-how to write any book in the future, in any genre you want...
  • ​​Confidence that will transform your entire creative life, FOREVER...

PLUS…

📌  1-ON-1 COACHING to keep you on track throughout the year

📌  DETAILED NOTES on your logline, outline, synopsis, and drafts

📌  Monthly meetings to WORKSHOP YOUR STORY with Scott and peers

📌  FREE access to video courses and books, and discounts on writing essentials

📌  and MORE!

Your Novel Writing Expedition: Month by Month

🗓️ JANUARY-FEBRUARY:
Introduction

Idea Excavation

In the first two months of Project Everest, you’ll transform into a concept-generating machine. We’ll systematically excavate your most compelling story ideas, using techniques that turn blank pages into goldmines of potential. You’ll...
💡 Generate 20 book concepts—including many future books—in under an hour…
       You’ll unleash your inner genius!

💡 Take advantage of the “chicken nugget” theory of story construction…
       To give you the best chance of success with your novel out of the gate!

💡 Avoid the 10 other mistakes first-time novelists make almost every time...
       You can break the trend and turn these missteps into advantages!

Concept Development

Now we’re refining those raw ideas into a polished concept that will make readers sit up and take notice. You’ll learn to craft a logline so compelling that people will be asking when they can read your book—before you’ve even written a single page. We’ll workshop your ideas, challenge your assumptions, and help you discover the story that needs to be told. You’ll...
✨ Pick the absolute best concept for your novel…
       Most writers pick the wrong one, and wonder why no one wants to read it!

✨ Create a logline so good, it makes readers want to devour your book...
      By appealing to their subconscious desire for tension and resolution!

✨ Try the “Facebook focus group” method for testing your concept…
       Learn the #1 way professional writers make sure they write GREAT stories!

STAGE 1: ‘Base Camp’ Milestone Bonus

🏆 A foolproof MARKETING PLAN for your book (a $1,400 value)
🏆 A 15-minute 1-on-1 coaching call with Scott to refine your concept (a $200 value)
🏆 The “How to Write Funny” course ($300 value)

🗓️ MARCH-APRIL:
Character and Structure

Character Development

March will be about populating your novel with characters readers will love (or love to hate). We’ll dive deep into character creation, moving beyond surface-level descriptions to understand the beating heart of your story’s inhabitants. You’ll...
🕵🏻‍♂️  Answer to the age-old storytelling question…
       Do characters drive plot, or does plot drive character?

🕵🏻‍♂️ Learn the "grocery store" method…
       For creating characters  that jump off the page and command readers’ attention!

🕵🏻‍♂️ Uncover the secret technique for motivating characters…
       So that your readers root for them!

Story Structure

There are a lot of structures to chose from, and you’ll get all the tools you need to select the best for your story. In April, we’ll break down your story architecture into manageable chunks. You’ll learn how to create a plot that moves with the precision of a Swiss watch and the excitement of a roller coaster. You’ll...
📕 Use the "backwards blueprint" technique to make story structure ridiculously simple…
       Even if you consider yourself inept at telling stories!

📕 Find the discipline to stop fiddling with your first line and first chapter...
      Before you rewrite them to death!

📕 Get rid of that one scene that’s in every novel…
      That readers hate so much they want to throw your book against the wall!

STAGE 2: ‘Icefall’ Milestone Bonus

🏆 Resources and swipe files for building your author platform ($1,500 value)
🏆 All 4 How to Write Funny  books ($50 value)
🏆 Comprehensive coverage on your story concept ($300 value)
🏆 A 15-minute 1-on-1 coaching call with Scott to refine your concept ($200 value)

🗓️ MAY-JUNE
First Draft

Vomit Draft

By spring’s end, you’ll move from planning to drafting. No more hiding behind outlines and character sketches—you’ll start writing real manuscript pages. By the end of May, you’ll have developed a writing rhythm that feels natural. It’ll even feel magical. You’ll also order your cover—a fun and  inspiring step for a lot of authors. You’ll...
✍️ Practice the stupid trick to write 3,000 words before lunch...
       It doesn’t matter if you have nothing to write about!

✍️ Turn your day job into a novel-writing superpower...
       Unlike most author hopefuls, who curse their 9-to-5 like it’s not a gold mine 

✍️ Use the “funny filter” method for writing dialog that sparkles with originality...
       You’ll be surprised how many people say, “You have an ear for dialog!”

Draft Acceleration

Now you’re picking up speed. You’ll learn techniques for pushing through the middle sections of your novel—the part where most writers get stuck and abandon their book. June is about building momentum, developing confidence, and proving to yourself that you can actually complete this massive creative undertaking. You’ll...
📝 Employ professional writer tactics for getting workable first drafts quickly...
      Without having to do an insane amount of rewriting!

📝 Muster the strength to write under all kinds of conditions...
      Even when you don't feel “inspired” to write!

📝 Learn the secret technique for turning writer's block...
      Into writing fuel!

STAGE 3 ‘Camp 2’ Milestone Bonus

🏆 Tailored strategies for maintaining your writing momentum ($500 value)
🏆 Personalized guidance on your drafting process ($500 value)
🏆 The Comedy Business School course ($400 Value)
🏆 A 30-minute 1-on-1 coaching call with Scott to assess your progress ($250 value)

🗓️ JULY-AUGUST
Second Draft

Refinement Techniques

Now you’re picking up speed. You’ll learn techniques for pushing through the middle sections of your novel—the part where most writers get stuck and abandon their book. June is about building momentum, developing confidence, and proving to yourself that you can actually complete this massive creative undertaking. You’ll...
🧑🏻‍⚕️ Gather “beta readers” like the pros do to level up the quality of your story...
      With a simple system to make miraculous use of so many useless opinions!
 
🧑🏻‍⚕️ Use the “Asimov” technique for handling brutally honest feedback...
      Without breaking down in tears!

🧑🏻‍⚕️ The secret “level up” technique for editing that makes your writing sing...
      It’s such an amazing way to amp up prose, it feels like it should be illegal!

Deep Refinement

Building on July’s work, you’ll dive deeper into refining your manuscript. This isn’t just about fixing grammar—it’s about understanding the heart of your story and ensuring every single page moves your narrative forward with purpose and energy. You’ll...
🔬 Tighten your manuscript like a professional editor...
      Even if you don’t have access to one!

🔬 Sneak up on your book with an easy trick for finding plot holes you didn’t know existed...
      And how to turn these ‘mistakes’ into the best parts of your novel!

🔬 Why most first drafts are terrible...
      And how you’ll make yours shine!

STAGE 4 ‘Camp 3’ Milestone Bonus

🏆 A one-hour 1-on-1 coaching session with Scott ($500 value)
🏆 A “Don’t Forget Your Audiobook” step-by-step course ($300 value)
🏆 Chance to win an audiobook cover and Audible upload and QC—free! ($400 value)

🗓️ SEPTEMBER-OCTOBER
Third Draft

Professional Polish

You’re entering the critical phase of transforming your manuscript from good to great. This month is about professional-level refinement, where you’ll learn how to elevate your writing beyond what you thought possible. You’ll...
🔬 Learn why most developmental editors are a waste of money...
      Workshop your book more effectively with 5 simple questions!

🔬 Practice the art of cutting 10,000 words from your book...
      Without having a nervous breakdown!

🔬 An 11th hour technique for creating a page-turner through simple line edits...
      Every step of the way, making your novel better and better!

A Final Look

In October, you’ll prepare your manuscript for its final form. You’ll learn how to make critical decisions about structure, pacing, and narrative flow. Every page will be carefully considered, every scene evaluated for its contribution to the overall story. You’re not just writing a book now—you’re crafting an experience for your readers. You’ll...
🌊 Understand when your book needs to be a work of art...
      Versus when it needs to be an engine for sales!

🌊 How to let go of your perfect structure, intricate plot twists and surprise reversals...
      And leave your story in the hands of your characters instead!

🌊 Learn to know if your manuscript is actually done…
      Or you’re just tired of looking at it!

STAGE 5 ‘Camp 4’ Milestone Bonus

🏆 A one-hour 1-on-1 coaching session with Scott ($500 value)
🏆 Discounts on interior formatting and stealth marketing techniques ($300 value)
🏆 Comprehensive feedback on publishing strategies ($400 value)
🏆 Social Media Ads bootcamp ($800 value)

🗓️ NOVEMBER-DECEMBER
Release

Publication

You’re in the home stretch. This month is about prepping your novel for its debut. You’ll learn the intricate details of getting your book ready for readers, whether you’re pursuing traditional publishing or self-publishing. You’ll...
👨‍💼 See why publishing traditionally is absolutely the best way to publish a book...
      No two ways about it!
 
👨‍💼 See why self-publishing is absolutely the best way to publish a book...
      No two ways about it!

👨‍💼Learn a simple marketing technique that actually works to sell your book...
      And does one other thing that’s even more important than selling your book!
     

Launch and Celebration

The final month of Project Everest is about bringing your novel into the world and celebrating your incredible achievement. You’ll finalize all publication details, prepare your launch strategy, and reflect on the incredible journey you’ve undertaken. This isn’t just about finishing a book—it’s about proving to yourself that you can accomplish something extraordinary. You’ll...
🍾 Mix the secret sauce for a successful book launch...
      And pop the champagne!

🍾 Build buzz for your novel before it’s even published...
      While you sleep!

🍾 Sell more copies of your book doing one unthinkable thing...
      Over and over and over again!

STAGE 6 ‘Summit’ Milestone Bonus

🏆  A final celebration and reflection Zoom session
🏆 A how-to book about other formats and sales opportunities ($20 value)
🏆 Comprehensive marketing support for continued book sales ($600 value)
🏆  A special commemorative gift marking your novel’s completion ($ ??? value)

Personal Guarantee

Try Project Everest for a full 60-day money-back guarantee

“If you’re not completely satisfied after completing two months of Project Everest, 
just contact my team at support@howtowritefunny.com and I will happily issue a refund. No other coaching program offers such a strong a guarantee.
I do it because 99.99 percent of my students are extremely satisfied.”

“Project Everest is truly a risk-free opportunity that will take your career to the next level.
If you don’t think it will, I’ll give you your money back!”
—Scott Dikkers

The Real Cost of Writing a Novel (Spoiler: It’s Not Cheap)

Enough with the Everest analogies. We need to talk about SOMETHING SERIOUS.

Also, I need an excuse to show this awesome picture of me writing one of my novels in the REDWOOD NATIONAL PARK last year.

It may not be a picture of me writing on a SNOWY MOUNTAIN (which I admit I’ve never done), but I’m next to a very tall thing, so maybe it works.

Let’s do some PAINFUL MATH. Here’s what trying to write a novel on your own will actually cost you:

    Let’s Break it Down

Let’s Break it Down

Professional Costs:
• Developmental Editor: $3,000 - $5,000
• Professional Copy Editing: $1,500 - $3,000
• Cover Design: $500 - $2,500
• Interior Formatting: $500 - $1,000
• Proofreading: $500 - $1,000

Marketing and Launch Expenses:
• Professional Book Launch Consultant: $2,000 - $5,000
• Initial Marketing Budget: $1,000 - $3,000

Wasted Time Calculation:
The average novel takes 3-5 years to complete when self-directed

And your time is worth, conservatively, $25/hour
• 10 hours/week × 52 weeks × 3 years = 1,560 hours
• Total Time Cost: $39,000 in lost productivity

The “Spinning Your Wheels” Tax:
• Endless rewrites: More time lost
• Self-doubt: Priceless (and SOUL-CRUSHING!)
• Potential income from not having a published book: Astronomical

Failure Costs:
• Abandoned drafts: Priceless (and PAINFUL!)
• Emotional toll of repeated failure: Immeasurable
• Opportunity cost of not completing your creative dream: DEVASTATING


Professional Costs:
• Developmental Editor: $3,000 - $5,000
• Professional Copy Editing: $1,500 - $3,000
• Cover Design: $500 - $2,500
• Interior Formatting: $500 - $1,000
• Proofreading: $500 - $1,000
Marketing and Launch Expenses:
• Professional Book Launch Consultant: $2,000 - $5,000
• Initial Marketing Budget: $1,000 - $3,000
Wasted Time Calculation:
The average novel takes 3-5 years to complete when self-directed

And your time is worth, conservatively, $25/hour
• 10 hours/week × 52 weeks × 3 years = 1,560 hours
• Total Time Cost: $39,000 in lost productivity
The “Spinning Your Wheels” Tax:
• Endless rewrites: More time lost
• Self-doubt: Priceless (and SOUL-CRUSHING!)
• Potential income from not having a published book: Astronomical
Failure Costs:
• Abandoned drafts: Priceless (and PAINFUL!)
• Emotional toll of repeated failure: Immeasurable
• Opportunity cost of not completing your creative dream: DEVASTATING


Here’s How Much It Costs

To Write a Novel on Your Own
If you’re skipping around and didn’t see the breakdown above, here’s the TOTAL:

Total Potential Investment (Doing It Alone): 

$48,500 - $64,000

Yeeks!

Okay, so what would you pay to sidestep ALL of this AGONY?

What would it be worth to you to have a BATTLE-TESTED GUIDE walk you down the easiest route, saving you time, money, and endless frustration?

Would you pay $9,420?

That’s what all the bonuses and coaching time in Project Everest are worth.

What if it was half  that – $4,500? That would be TOTALLY worth it, right?

What if we halved it again and made it 2,000? That would be a steal to get help completing a novel by the end of 2025!

What if I told you you could get it all, and make 2025 the year you write your novel,
GUARANTEED, and it will only cost you...

$797

(Or 6 easy payments of $147 each)

Look at All These BONUSES Again...

🏆 A foolproof MARKETING PLAN for your book (a $1,400 value)
🏆 A 15-minute 1-on-1 February COACHING CALL with Scott to refine your concept (a $200 value)
🏆 The “How to Write Funny” course ($300 value)
🏆 Resources and SWIPE FILES for building your author platform ($1,500 value)
🏆 All 4 How to Write Funny books ($50 value)
🏆 COMPREHENSIVE COVERAGE on your story concept ($300 value)
🏆 A 15-minute 1-on-1 April coaching call with Scott to refine your concept ($200 value)
🏆 Tailored strategies for maintaining your writing momentum ($500 value)
🏆 PERSONALIZED GUIDANCE on your drafting process ($500 value)
🏆 The Comedy Business School course ($400 Value)
🏆 A 30-minute 1-on-1 June COACHING CALL with Scott to assess your progress ($250 value)
🏆 A one-hour August COACHING CALL with Scott ($500 value)
🏆 A “Don’t Forget Your AUDIOBOOK” SET-UP COURSE ($300 value)
🏆 The chance to win an AUDIOBOOK COVER AND AUDIBLE UPLOAD AND QC—free! ($400 value)
🏆 A one-hour 1-on-1 COACHING SESSION with Scott ($500 value)
🏆 DISCOUNTS on interior formatting and stealth marketing techniques ($300 value)
🏆 Comprehensive feedback on publishing strategies ($400 value)
🏆 Social Media Ads bootcamp ($800 value)
🏆 A final CELEBRATION and reflection Zoom session
🏆 A how-to book to learn about other formats and SALES OPPORTUNITIES ($20 value)
🏆 Comprehensive MARKETING SUPPORT for continued book sales ($600 value)
🏆 A special COMMEMORATIVE GIFT marking your novel’s completion ($ ??? value)
Total Value of the Project Everest Bonuses: $9,420

Look at These Testimonials Again...

You met these good folks earlier, but now listen to them—REALLY listen to them!

The top row are a few of the people I’ve worked with.

The bottom row is just a handful of the hundreds of anonymous GLOWING REVIEWS I got from students who took my courses at the Second City Traiing Center in Chicago. 

‘First Novel Published’

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
“Helped me define my own, unique comedic style. I CREDIT SCOTT’s class with helping me get my first novel published!”
Annie Goodson,
novelist and teacher

‘Extremely Fortunate’

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
“I’VE ADMIRED SCOTT Dikkers’ comedy for decades and have been extremely fortunate to work with and learn from him.”
Andy Borowitz
New York Times bestselling author

‘Instrumental’

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
“Instrumental in making me the ... writer I am today. Any comedian, no matter their experience, can benefit from SCOTT’S KNOWLEDGE.”
Matthew Spina
#1 Amazon bestselling author, screenwriter

‘Really Loved...’

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
“Scott ... told you EXACTLY what he thought of your work and how to improve it. I really loved having him as an instructor.”

‘Incredible’

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
“Incredible learning experience. Scott could not possibly be more qualified. EXCELLENT feedback. Scott is a master.”

‘Learned So Much’

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
“I learned so much more about being intentional with my structures. Scott ... encourages REFLECTION and GROWTH.”

‘Fantastic’

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
“Scott is fantastic!
Brilliant,
SUPPORTIVE,
and super helpful!”

Zero-Risk Commitment

If Project Everest doesn’t transform your writing journey within 60 days,
100% of your investment will be returned. No questions asked.

FAQs

CUSTOM JAVASCRIPT / HTML

About Your Sherpa

About Your Sherpa

A lifelong entrepreneur and creator in the entertainment business, Scott Dikkers is the founder of TheOnion.com, The AVClub, and How to Write Funny. He’s a #1 New York Times bestselling author, award-making filmmaker, and performer, widely regarded as one of the most influential pioneers in comedy history.

His visionary leadership at The Onion, his groundbreaking comic strip, Jim’s Journal, plus his multiple top-10 comedy podcasts have garnered him tens of millions of fans all over the world. Rolling Stone named him one of its top 10 favorite writers. Entertainment Weekly designated him “the funniest person in America” and placed him on the “It List” of the hottest celebrities in show business.

He graced the cover of Time magazine as one of the top 50 movers and shakers online. He’s the winner of the Thurber Prize for American Humor, a Peabody, and more Webby awards than any other individual or organization.

Scott has mentored hundreds of successful writers and written 5 novels of his own, most recently the Amazon bestseller, The Joke at the End of the World. 
$797
(Or 6 easy payments of $147 each)

Click the button above to go to the order page and fill out your info.

Your novel isn’t going to write itself.

But with the right guidance, it absolutely will get written.

BY YOU.

You can do this!
© 2025 Scott Dikkers. All rights reserved.
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